Ruby Ann's Down Home Trailer Park Cookbook

Cookin' So Good, Folks Will Be Turnin' Off The Wrestlin' Channel Just To Come 'N' Get It! Dear Friends, As a well-known temptress of song, beautician extraordinaire, and confidante to the jet set, I have eaten in all kinds of places. Now maybe this down home, trailer park gal is just spoiled when it comes to food but, have mercy, some of that stuff I wouldn't have fed to my cousin Earl's three-legged dog, Speedy. There are three things that we trailer park women are good at: holdin' our liquor, jackin' our hair to the heavens, and cookin'. But we here at the High Chaparral Trailer Park in Pangburn, Arkansas, have sinned, holdin' onto our best recipes tighter than a televangelist's hands on a widow's checkbook. Well, no more! Startin' right here on these pages, we are throwin' open the wood-paneled vaults and sharing more than 100 of our most delicious and cheap recipes with you, everything from appetizers, beverages, and entrees, to the Holy Trinity of trailer park cuisine"”cookies, cakes, and icing. Grab a spatula, and fill up on such tasty creations as: Kitty Chitwood's Slut Puppies"”Deep-fried and delicious. And the leftovers can be spray-painted for darlin' Christmas tree ornaments later. Lois Bunch's Chili Con Queso"”You don't have to make this with government cheese, but it sure tastes better if you do. Anita Biggon's El Diablo Dip-O"”Do not try to operate heavy machinery after a few bites of this stuff! Sister Bertha's Old Rugged Cross Cake"”The official cake of the First Baptist Church of Pangburn, Arkansas. Ruby Ann Boxcar's Fantastically Flawless Fantasy Fudge"”Please don't send me letters tellin' me how good this is 'cause I already know. Juanita Hix's Sloppy Sloppy Joes"”You might want to cover the table with a trash bag before eatin' these. Along with good food, I'll also be serving up a generous side of trailer park dish"”from the goin's on at the Big Balls Bowling Alley to the Three Cigarettes in an Ashtray Bar and of course, the First Baptist Church of Pangburn. Food, sex, gossip"”honey, this thing's more loaded than my Me-Ma on a Saturday night! What are you waitin' for? Get out that deep fryer and get cookin'"”trailer park style! Happy Eatin'! Ruby Ann Boxcar Ruby Ann Boxcar, beautician, international entertainer and singer, and syndicated columnist, lives with her husband Dew and their three dogs in a two-story double-wide pink trailer home at the High Chaparral Trailer Park in Pangburn, Arkansas. Dr. Pepper Salad If I hadn"™t shown up when I did, Connie would"™ve had Dew sign us up to be Amway distributors just so he could get a servin"™ of this dish. 2 cans Dr. Pepper 1 large package cherry JELL-O ½ cup maraschino cherries (chopped) 1 small package cream cheese In a pan heat up 1 can of Dr. Pepper over medium heat. When it gets hot, add JELL-O to the soda. In a small bowl stir the cherries and cream cheese together. Add it to the hot JELL-O/ Dr. Pepper mixture and stir well. Add the other can of Dr. Pepper, pour into a mold, and refriger